I'm not a believer in the age old refrain, "everything happens for a reason" - in fact, I lean in the opposite direction. Sure, there are many things that happen randomly, many beyond our control. Wisdom is the ingredient that helps us understand the difference.
By examining various aspects and events in life we can begin to see patterns in thought and behavior. We can see how we respond to certain things in the same way, or have reactions and make choices we told ourselves we wouldn't repeat. Sometimes we are able to predict what will happen because the behaviors and emotions are so familiar. We might even say, if I do this, that will happen -- so, what can we do about it?
Maybe the answer is simple: responsibility and the courage to admit one's mistakes. The first step is to think about our part in things - what did we do or not do? How did we contribute to the outcome? Did we exhibit behaviors that led to the very place we are in right now? How is this scenario like something in the past? What could we have done differently?
The essence is in taking responsibility for our part rather than the blame we load on others. This takes courage and maturity. It's worth it!