And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. Anais Nin

Sunday

Finished and Beautiful


The sixth edition of the VoiceCatcher anthology is out and captures new writing and art from women in the Portland/Vancouver region. Along with my Co-Editor, Kristin Berger, and the entire VoiceCatcher editorial collective, let me say, "we're damned proud!"

Below is a list of our upcoming readings - please join us:

Dec. 8, 2011 - Cover To Cover Books, Vancouver, WA
February 2012 - Broadway Books, Portland, OR
March 31, 2012 - Central Library, Portland, OR
May 13, 2012 - Stonehenge Studios, Portland, OR

See www.voicecatcher.org for more information.

Hope to see you at one of these.
toni

Almost Back

Nine months later and the VoiceCatcher anthology is the baby. The book is in the final round of proofing and then, off to the printer. It has been a wild ride! I knew it would be a tremendous amount of work. Yet, being in the middle of it put it in perspective.

I just completed two art pieces for the September "Chair" show at Angst Gallery in Vancouver, WA. Soon, after relaxing I'm back to writing and art.

Monday

Life In Ghost Town



I'm ready to break free of winter and fly headfirst into spring! It's still grey, damp, and chilly outside, but I am filled with great hope that things will improve over the next month. I have evidence.

All around the yard there are green shoots emerging from early blooming bulbs. Soon there will be color. Not to say that green isn't a color -- right now it's the only color.

Last year I bought a Forsythia plant and plunked it in a big pot. I have babied it all winter and to my surprise, it has long, willowy branches with buds. The buds are still closed tight, but soon they will bring me a rousing shade of yellow.

It will be at that point when I clip several (not all, I hope) and bring them inside. I have a beautiful, tall, multicolored glass vase and a spot on the table picked out. When this happens I'll know that spring has just about arrived. I imagine that I'll immediately feel warmer. I'll see the possibilities in things. I'll get ready to emerge from the "hibernating me" that I've endured all these winter months.

Today, I will watch the sky for a moment of sun. I'll count the birds brave enough to dip in the cold rainwater collecting in the birdbath. And, I'll whisper a few more words of encouragement to the delicate yellow friend who lives in my yard.
"Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake." - Wallace Stevens

Can it be this simple? I can hear you say, "No way!" I get it.

I've been considering the amount of time we spend on conflict and misunderstandings. It seems right to count the hours spinning inside our minds when we examine it this way, then that. We try to frame the words another way, decipher facial expressions, or dissect an email or text. What do they mean by that? How would I have said it? How should I respond? It's exhausting.

As I was pondering this I came upon the words of Wallace Stevens. It is easy to imagine the connections between our emotions and nature. Studies have shown that nature photographs conjure strong emotional responses. As well, think of the last time you experienced a strong feeling while you were in a "natural" setting. For me, the sound of geese flying above provokes a strong sense of joy. Can you think of your own example?

I wonder if a deliberate action to sort out the truth in something personal (work, relationship, goals, etc.) would seem less tedious if I did it in a natural setting. I thought back to the times the beach or forest was the specific destination for my poetry writing. There is a spot at the Columbia River that I drive to when I'm upset or confused. Perhaps Stevens knew something when he chose the word, truth. When something is upsetting or confusing it is usually because I have masked the truth.

It takes clarity to see the truth. It takes more clarity to understand what you see. Was Stevens leading us around the lake as a metaphor for the process? Was he envisioning the open air, wide expanse, and soothing sounds of water as a way to break down complexities? Was he telling us that without distractions we can find what we seek?

As any poet will tell you, lines that mean one thing to the writer may resonate differently with the reader. Mr. Stevens wrote a line that connected the significance of truth with a natural setting. This makes complete sense to me. The next time I'm seeking the truth it would be wise for me to get out of my usual setting and into a natural setting. It's a good thing I live in the beautiful Pacific NW where a drive in any direction will take me there.

Tuesday

SEND VOICECATCHER SUBMISSIONS NOW


Send us your best work!!
VoiceCatcher 6 Prose and Poetry Submissions by Portland/Vancouver area Women Writers will be accepted by mail Jan. 15 - Feb. 28, 2011 (postmarked deadline)and in person at our January & February readings.

Visit www.voicecatcher.org for full guidelines.

Art Submissions will be accepted March 1- March 31, 2011

If you are in a writing group or taking classes with other women whose work may be a good fit for VoiceCatcher, pass this information on to them.

Help us expand our creative community!
Screen Play

I can write about
anything but you

It’s always too early
or too late to incarcerate
my senses
uncoil thoughts into words
drawn from the infinite vat
of language

Can I forgive the
melodrama before you?
I lived around the
corner from despair

This time, despair is the
invisible man and you are
Bogie, Tracy, or James Dean
and I write about them
until I can write about you

Monday

Of Crows and Things

From this vantage point it is easy to watch three crows drink from the birdbath. They are huge and shiny. In between sips they chatter - back and forth - cawing loud and louder.

I want to join the conversation. Listen to them brag about the last worm or the cracker I set out this morning. I want to shout with them; tell them about the things I've found. The broken compass inside an old shoe at the thrift shop, a red plastic barrette I wore in 4th grade, love letters from my first crush, and five nickels as I prepared the soil for roses.

I imagine crow's don't make lists. In fact, I think they're only concern is the last find. There is no way I could live like that. I'm too connected to those little things that remind me of someone close, a great trip, an unpredicted event, or a walk that began innocently and ended with a pocket full of rocks.

Some people are collectors of things. Some, collectors of people. Everyone is talking about simplicity, clearing out the stuff, minimizing. This is supposed to clear your mind and release potential for new endeavors. I understand the logic in this and must admit, I do feel renewed when I clean out the closet or garage. Yet, my collection of precious finds gives me renewed energy. At any moment I can pick up a paper fortune from Chinese take out, a rock from the Sierra's, or a lucky penny found on my street. I can remember the moment and the reason I kept that treasure.

Still, those crows seem so free and unencumbered. I'd love to talk with them, just once, about the greatest thing they ever found. Now, wouldn't that be a moment? Perhaps they'd let me take a feather home.

As The Grass Grows....

we sit
sip dew from honeysuckle
reminisce
stare into the distance
beyond the weeds
and fire-bright lilies
you stretch
I yawn
toes touch before
eyes meet

Thursday

The Short Reprieve

the moments stretch
time extends like
capsules filled with
liquid tenderness, open
to rain upon them

they are unable to sleep
without touch
reaching in the
night and
morning

in passion there is no
before, no after
just a roiling sea
to carry them on waves up
the crest
then down,
land softly on the sand
to rest
briefly
in each other’s arms

*************************
It's spring although you wouldn't know it by the storm that blew through yesterday. Still, I am hopeful. Slivers of sunshine, new growth out back, the lilacs that have come and gone - each a reminder - pay attention they say.

Soon, I will sit still, let the sun warm me and write of all that is good.

Friday

Constantly Reflecting

I like the idea of combining natural images with human behavior. Humans are perplexing creatures prone to getting in their own way. Many of my poems offer a social commentary and certainly, some are autobiographical. I believe this one is a little of both. Hope you enjoy!

Redemption

the day her wings were clipped
balance evaporated
like dew on citrus
the waltz, impossible

when her wings were clipped
clouds enveloped the groves
encapsulated their oranges
hardening juice to wax

with clipped wings
she fell prey to raptors
hair wound by long talons
brittle skin at edges

clipped wings
sold at market
for soups and potions
remind her of fairy tales
a cottage of ginger
viewed upside down

her wings were clipped
on a full moon
watched with yellow eyes
tendrils for arms
sand for feet

shoulders once bare
sprout wisdom
grow plumes between blades
feathers along spine

she feels the weight of mistakes
unable to fly home

Saturday

Connections

Kudos to the Women's Empowerment Coalition for their Women in Art, Academia, and Community event on March 24th at WSU Vancouver. Their full day of great speakers, music, and thought provoking discussions was the best I've attended in a very long while. I was honored to be asked to read from Wind Wing and humbled by the connections I made with several interesting women. Below is a poem read that day by Cherry Muhanji that inspired all of us.

This Is My Beloved
By Walter Benton

Because hate is legislated . . . written into
the primer and testament,
shot into our blood and brain like vaccine or vitamins

Because our day of time, of hours --- and the clock-hand turns,
closes the circle upon us; and black timeless night
sucks us in like quicksand, receives us totally ---
without a raincheck or a parachute, a key to heaven or the last long look

I need love more than ever now . . . I need your love,
I need love more than hope or money, wisdom or a drink

Because slow negative death withers the world and only yes
can turn the tide

Because love has your face and body . . . and your hands are tender
and your mouth is sweet ---- and God has made no other eyes like yours.

Friday

Coffee Will Save Me

Free Market Blend
By Toni Partington

Somewhere south
in groves of beans
the flavor is born

everywhere here
in cups of paper
the flavor is tasted

it reaches your nose
travels right to
the brain
roasted beans so rich
they can connect
olfactory to saliva
without touching the lips

this is glory
the mother lode
the sweet spot
the perfect pose
the long kiss
the found penny, head’s up
the best seat in the house

this is your favorite song
the shoes on sale
the winning ticket
the snow day
the smell of lilacs
the dog’s greeting
the unexpected hug

this is the first sip
the half and half
the sugar
the cinnamon

This is morning.

Please Join Me on Thursday, April 15th, 7pm
I'll be reading from my book, Wind Wing
Paper Tiger Coffehouse
703 Grand Blvd.
Vancouver, WA 98661

Wednesday

Catching Up

I know it is time to play catch-up --- yet, finding the energy to get things done eludes me these early days of spring. I would much rather curl up under a blanket to watch a movie or read as my list of tasks grows more crowded around me. Can one smother under a list this long?

Still, the sun peeks and I move outside to be warmed. Shock! It is cold and the sun can't seem to penetrate my skin to thaw these bones. I slump back inside and find the blanket waiting, still warm from me and the dog.

Last year was ten years long. I would be content to deal with 12 simple months.

The dog curls up to fall asleep on the blanket which has formed a cocoon around my legs. I'm stuck right here for a while longer.

PLEASE JOIN ME THIS SATURDAY

I will be reading from my new book at 2pm
St. John’s Booksellers
2pm, Saturday, February 20, 2010
8622 N. Lombard St.
Portland, OR 97203
503-283-0032

WIND WING
Poems By Toni Partington

Upcoming Readings

In Other Words (special reading and free workshop with Eileen Elliott, author of Prodigal Cowgirl)
2pm, Saturday, April 10, 2010
8 NE Killingsworth St.Portland, OR 97211
503-232-6003

Paper Tiger Coffeehouse
7pm, Thursday, April 15, 2010
703 Grand Blvd.
Vancouver, WA 98661
541-400-8389

WIND WING is a collection of poetry inspired by the lives of women. The poems provide a glimpse into life on the edge of mental illness, transition and discovery. In three chapters, the poems expose the life of an only child with a mentally ill mother, the transitions of life, love and loss, and the societal and personal observations that lead to self discovery. Partington wrote the book over the past ten years as a way to reveal the stigma associated with mental illness and its impact on families.

At Frenchman’s Bar

Egrets assemble
levitate in slow motion
perfectly
above the Columbia’s glass top
framed by fifty-foot twigs
upright to the sky

in silhouette

parked barges resemble a life
stopped abruptly
await permission to dock
unload the steerage of this long journey

when will it be time for you
to sail toward unknown ports
where women gather in flocks
lean into each other and
beckon you to land

BIO:
Toni Partington is a poet, editor, and life/career coach. Her poetry has appeared in the NW Women's Journal, Selected Poems of the River Poets' Society, The Cascade Journal, VoiceCatcher (editions 3 and 4), OutwardLink.net and others. She is the author of a poetry chapbook, Jesus Is A Gas (2009). Her latest book of poetry WIND WING (2010) is now available for $10. She also serves as an Associate Editor for VoiceCatcher, an annual Pacific Northwest anthology of women writers.

As a life/career coach, Toni loves to work with writers and artists interested in exploring ways to integrate lifestyle and work. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Social Work from Chapman University, an MA in Humanities with a major focus in Literature and Literary Editing from the California State University, Dominguez Hills, and post graduate work at the University of Oregon to become certified as a Global Career Development Facilitator. Before embarking on other adventures Toni spent over ten years teaching and advising women in transition returning to college.

Toni is involved in promoting poetry, writing and art in Vancouver, WA with a lively group of friends and peers. She facilitates Life In The Moment, Poetry & Other Riches, which can be found on the web at www.poettone.blogspot.com. Her circle includes poets, friends, family, and dogs, not in any particular order.

Tuesday

Book Announced in The Columbian


WIND WING
By Toni Partington



Women inspire Vancouver writer

Vancouver’s Toni Partington has been writing since she was 10 years old and has helped others with their books. Now the Vancouver resident has a book of her own, “Wind Wing.”

Partington launched “Wind Wing” during a Thursday open mic poetry night at Cover to Cover Books in Vancouver, where the book will be sold for $10.

The book of poetry has three sections. The first explores the experience she had being raised by a mother with mental illness. “It was rough,” Partington said, noting that at the time mental illness wasn’t openly discussed and many people didn’t understand it. The second section reflects the women in transition that Partington met through her social work; the third represents some of her
observations.

“The book has been a long time in the making,” Partington said.

Monday

BOOK RELEASE

WIND WING
By Toni Partington
Poetry $10 US

WIND WING is a collection of poetry inspired by the lives of women. The poems provide a glimpse into life on the edge of mental illness, transition and discovery. In three chapters, the poems expose the life of an only child with a mentally ill mother, the transitions of life, love and loss, and the societal and personal observations that lead to self discovery. Partington wrote the book over ten years as a way to reveal the stigma associated with mental illness and its impact on families.

Bio
Toni Partington is a poet, editor, and life/career coach. Her poetry has appeared in the NW Women’s Journal, Selected Poems of the River Poets’ Society, The Cascade Journal, VoiceCatcher (editions 3 and 4), OutwardLink.net and others. She is the author of a poetry chapbook, Jesus Is A Gas (2009). She serves as an Associate Editor for VoiceCatcher, an annual Pacific Northwest anthology of women writers. Toni is a regular columnist for Writing The Life Poetic, an online zine that complements the print version of the book by Sage Cohen, http://writingthelifepoetic.typepad.com.

As a life/career coach, Toni works with writers and artists interested in exploring ways to integrate lifestyle and work. Toni is involved in promoting poetry, writing and art in Vancouver, Washington with a lively group of friends and peers. Her circle includes poets, friends, family, and dogs, not in any particular order.

WIND WING

Sweet breeze
scented with orange blossoms in early summer
caress my face pressed against the
open wind-wing in her Impala.

These rides; a secret time to talk
while we forget she is crazy –
top down, headed home with drippy cones
Her – strawberry
Me – maple nut

Just enough time to adjust the wind-wing
while the red leather seats grow warm
she lets me push buttons to find
the right song for our sing-along.

These are the times I remember now
in melancholy middle age –
her hair cut short, dyed blonde
shoulders tanned above the halter-top
while shorts sprout bare legs
down to bright red toenails.

I picture this as her departure from upstate New York
and Catholic School rules
when California set her free
and took her down.

I watched her ricochet between two worlds –
safe home or padded room
delicacies or dry-mouthed delirium
green lawns or barred doors
Sunday Mass or shock treatments

her sanity – barely or not at all.

I long for the Impala
it is easier than longing for her –
a drive along Victoria Avenue
lined with orange groves and old songs
while we drift between dark nights and darker days.

Her life, like the wind-wing
unlatched slowly, one inch at a time
till the wind arrives at high pitch.

Throw it wide open and watch everything fly away.

Wednesday

Holiday Greetings and Second Chances

I hope you will take a few minutes in this rush of holiday preparations to reflect on the past year. What were the highs and lows? Who did you want to talk with, but couldn't find the time? What did you want to do for yourself, but never got around to it? What did you accomplish and how did it feel?

I don't subscribe to the notion of New Year's Resolutions. I guess that's because I've set up so many over the years and felt the disappointment of not following through. Somehow, this seems like an excellent way of feeling bad about myself. Now, I just don't do it!

Instead, I think about the prior year and the the actions I took and didn't take - and imagine how I could have done it differently. This is my launching point for the New Year -- and it is the best holiday gift I can give myself - that second chance, not wrapped up in guilt or failure, instead, wrapped up in "doing things differently".

Wishing you the joys of second chances. toni

Tuesday

Please Join Me December 4th

Join me in celebrating First Friday in Vancouver with a reading from VoiceCatcher's fourth edition. Come and hear a magnificent line-up of this year's authors reading selections of their work.

Readers will include:

Nancy Flynn
Constance Hall (Penname: M)
Christi Krug
Carolyn Martin
Darlene Pagán
Toni Partington

Location: Angst Gallery
1015 Main Street, Vancouver, WA 98660
Telephone: 360.253.1742
Date: December 4, 2009
Time: 7:00 pm

This reading is being held in conjunction with The Women's Empowerment Coalition of Washington State University Vancouver’s Silent Auction. Proceeds both from the auction and a portion of the VoiceCatcher book sales at the event will benefit the Vancouver YWCA – a primary source for services to women

Wednesday

My Favorite Chef Makes The News

Haven't heard of Brittany Baldwin, yet? Now's your chance to read a profile in the article 40 chefs under 40. Brittany's Portland Home Chef is number 3!

Brittany makes food that tastes great, is healthy, and follows her belief that utilizing the local food source is an affordable and sustainable option to mass produced foods. What the article doesn't say is that Brittany's poetry is as tasty as her recipes. The best moments occur when tasting a perfectly crafted meal and listening to Brittany read her poems for dessert.

Her book of poems, Broken Knuckles Against Knives Cutting The Food To Feed Me Through This (2005) is a rich collection that takes the reader into the kitchen, garden and heart of the writer. It may be time for Brittany to consider a second printing or to offer us a new collection.

Like her poems, Brittany doesn't do anything halfway. Portland Home Chef can provide you with a relationship to the chef, her recipes, and her garden. Brittany wants to know what you like, what your kids will eat, what your schedule demands and how you imagine dinners that magically appear each evening. This allows her to craft a menu customized to your lifestyle. She lovingly prepares the meals in your kitchen and stores them in the fridge or freezer with written instructions for heating and serving.

It sounds simple because Brittany does what's needed to keep it simple for you. Imagine, you don't have to order take out, decide where to dine out, or slog through cupboards to assemble a meal. And, these aren't bland, microwave dinners. They are healthy magnificent meals that can't be mass produced. How do I know? Last year I gave my daughter the gift of Portland Home Chef meals for her birthday week. The result, rave reviews!

Enjoy....

http://www.mnn.com/food/cooking-recipes/stories/40-chefs-under-40

Brittany Baldwin
Portland Home Chef
503-228-0937
portlandhomechef.com

Friday